Larry King
Sunday, Aug. 29, 2004
Canadians seem harmless, but then so do bunnies…if you see one movie this year, make sure it’s Napoleon Dynamite…say what you will, but I still don’t like Adolph Hitler…hitting a round ball with a round bat is the hardest thing to do in sports…it may not be good for you, but crack cocaine sure is a cheap high…if they can clone sheep, why not Albert Brooks?…Sandra Bullock is more than a great actress, she’s a great lady…if a sense of humor is a sign of intelligence, explain Stephen Hawking…anyone who pronounces forte correctly is a snob…dogs should have names like Tex and Fred…bless you, Betty White!…Ernie and Bert may be gay, but they’re still ugly…2004 World Series Champ: surprise, Reds in five. write it down…crosswords: a ten-letter word for “challenging”…shooting a ninety-foot buzzer beater in basketball is the fourth hardest thing to do in sports…if you clearly define one term this year, make sure it’s “irony”…that South Park sure seems like a strange place to live …a good cigar is like good sex, only cigars cause throat cancer…Fusachi Pegasus was a beautiful horse, but could he make right turns?…it may stand for freedom and liberty, but I still think the American flag is ugly…if you learn one new language this year make sure it’s Hindi…LaLa is clearly the only Teletubby trained in the Method school of acting…catching a bullet in one’s teeth is the tenth hardest thing to do in sports…she may be Bea Arthur, but to me she’ll always be Maude…is the sky also blue in the southern hemisphere?…Chris Rock may be black, but he sure is funny…Saskatchewan Curling Finals: North Regina Coloniers in 3. write it down…if you drink one soft drink this year, make sure it’s Mr. Pibb…I don’t know exactly what it is or how it’s made, but foam sure is soft…if dogs can hear sounds that we can’t, can they also read between the lines?…rent a Rob Schneider movie and prepare to laugh…if I were God, I’d rest on Thursdays.
... election update ...
As executive officer, the Sergeant at Arms has custody of the Senate gavel. If elected, I will replace the gavel with a gong.
Fallacious and malicious stories are circulating concerning my younger days. The truth is, yes, in college I once sipped Dr. Pepper while listening to Sergeant Pepper. However, I did not swallow.
Qualification #3: I have two arms of my own, so I appreciate just how important they are.
Changing times demand change,
Steve Anacker
Sergeant at Arms 2008
